Foretelling, Fore-selling or Bad-vertising?

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 

[Sitting at home, with a smartphone in one's hand, the mind is tempted to wander off to dabble with social media and the wonderful world of advertisements.  But, not the ones you usually see.  There has been a not-so-subtle change in the ads these days. I'm taking a look at what at worst could be called "bad-vertising" in this peculiar situation.  Hope you find it as funny as I do - will try not to name anyone. Please leave comments on the blog.]

If I had a buck for every time I came across the words "uncertain times" or  "unprecedented situation" or even "unique response", I would be a rich man.  I'm reminded of the Batman meme where he takes an almighty swipe at the person using any of these phrases.  Of course, it's unprecedented, that's probably why the astrologers have gone relatively silent.  Foretelling the future is not in vogue anymore.  As the novelty of the Novel Coronavirus news wears thin, so do people's tempers.  The lock down, everyone grudgingly admits, is necessary to slow down the spread, flatten the curve and fatten the midriff or increase the centre-spread.  The messages are now going into questions and predictions - what will happen post the lock down?  The virus is not going to vanish, the lock down only delayed the spread, it's going to get worse.  All this accompanied by "data" in the form of graphs (those curves), increasing numbers from across the country (and Trumpistan), and foretelling of dire consequences for the rest of us.

One hilarious lady from Jacksonville is convinced that their beaches are safe.  Not like Miami beach where the Mexicans drink Corona beer from glass bottles.  At Jacksonville they drink Natural Lights from aluminium cans and have salt in the sea water which makes it virus free (everything gets better with salt - bacon, black eyed peas!).  Various religious groups have resorted to chain letters and chain prayers to heal the earth and keep it safe from the virus.  At least one of them opines that this is Divine Retribution and will not stop till the gates of hell have a longish line stretching out in front. And for the Mother Nature enthusiasts, this is Her way of rejuvenating the Earth, naturally.  Just look at all the dolphins returning to the Hooghly not to mention lions roaming around the streets undeterred.  Religious heads have gone silent on predictions, of course, and continue to keep places of worship shut.  Useful to have a Government order to back you up as it would be difficult to explain the situation to the faithful anyway. Not to mention a picture of Charles Darwin saying, "We got this!"

Survival of the Fittest

At this time of idleness, armed with a mobile device, the fingers are the busiest part of the anatomy, with an oblique nod to the eyes, and no mention of the brain.  As we mindlessly scroll through Facebook, Instagram and other favourites, we are bombarded with a changing set of "offers".  Are you seeing what I am seeing?

The advertisements have changed from BC (Before Corona) to AC (After Corona).  There was a time when multiple advertisements slashed prices and had these last minute, only-for-today, Black Friday offers. Today, both, the types of promotions and the period of offer are changing.  The lock down has ensured that everything available on Amazon and other online stores are "currently out of stock".  So, if you own an enterprise that's allowed to function as an essential service, you can't get an infra-red thermometer to check your staff till after lock down. This may mean that the organizations that fore-sell today may be at the forefront when (not, if) this is all over - which is taken as given for the time being.

The Opportunity to Fore-sell 

Into this breach leaps the advertiser who pre-sells stuff online -- sell it quick.  Nobody wants to gamble on life-expectancy at the moment.  My friends the insurance agents are now busy selling Term Insurance that "even covers Covid-19".  That's useful.  It won't prevent me from getting the disease but someone's going to benefit.  In the here and now it's the insurance company itself. 

Then there is the plethora of video conferencing apps that have sprung up for free download (trial for 14 days, says the small print) or really for free (the really usable parts are in the 'premium' package, which is not free). And each of them, having had a decent corporate life, has suddenly added an "education" phrase into the hard-sell, sniffing an opportunity with locked-down schools needing to teach.  Even harder sell includes words like "safer than Zoom" and one of them has a two-column comparison chart with Zoom! Even if Zoom is guilty of nefarious practices, they have created the market for all the others, including the also-rans.

There is a flurry of online courses being offered - many of them are Lifetime courses.  Pay upfront  now, the course is available for your lifetime.  Are they banking on your lifetime? Just a short list gleaned from my Facebook feed includes courses on drawing and doodling - just in case the lock down extends, you have something to do; learn to play guitar or piano from someone's acclaimed course which has taught 'hundreds of musicians across the world'; some specialized stuff such as Jazz Chords for the Elderly (apparently us fogies play jazz and no one else listens anyway).  I am tempted to become an ace Designer from the comfort (confines) of my home at the lowest price ever; or I could take any of the free programming courses and learn technology for jobs of the future (if any).  Or maybe just make a video (on what?) from the comfort of my couch for the all-low, one-time fee of $67.  

Traditional money spinning apps are now free for download, free for use or free to ignore. Why has this sudden altruism popped up?  Your guess is as good as mine, but I would call it Fore-selling -- creating the market for the After Corona period when people will be so hooked onto their apps that they would actually pay.  Guilty as charged.  I did it for Google Drive and never regretted it.

No guesses for wondering where all the Travel and Tourism advertisements went.  Not even fore-selling for the foreseeable future. Suddenly people are finding that they don't really need to travel to be productive.

Truly or Partially Free 

And then there are the services that are truly free.  Access to Libraries (the National Digital Library just went free), Museums across the world are conducting virtual tours.  Armchair travel and sightseeing, watching live concerts (pre-recorded and Premiered at a fixed time) and online reading has changed the way we live.  Psychologists are offering an ear online to help you deal with a depressing situation. Artistes are posting videos on YouTube with a request to subscribe and like the channel.  Musicians, who have unfortunately been out of work for a long time, are now music teachers who will give you private tuition online for a small fee or donation.

If you're worrying about the kids "losing their intelligence" and knowledge over the lock down period, due to schools being shut,  there are worksheets available online for "all classes, all schools, all Boards" - just transfer funds via specified wallet and download.  You will find these vendors in the same groups that offer N95 masks at special prices! Dire Straits, Money for Nothing.

I attended a "free" seminar online.  It was interesting for awhile and then suddenly moved into a 20-minute hard-sell harangue for a course which the organizers conduct.  The original course price was dropped first by 50% ("only for today till midnight") and then "anyone who pays in the next 15 minutes gets it for 25%" - after the stipulated 15 minutes you could contact the organizer privately (wink!). And this entitles you to "lifetime access" to the course, which hopefully will be around as long as you are.

On the other side, top-class Professional organizations are holding webinars and discussions by acclaimed practitioners almost daily. Some of these are free, most of them are very useful to that professional community as they keep the knowledge alive and updated for when we all get out of this. And some of them are addressing the workplace of the immediate future. 

Social Causes

There is quite a lot of online entertainment in the form of live plays and stand-up comedy shows where the only entrance fee is a request to contribute to a good cause such as feeding the underprivileged, or purchasing essentials for people, or medical aid. You can donate directly to the cause too.  And there are keep fit programmes aimed at keeping people on their toes and in good shape - some of these are priced, naturally, but all of them fulfill the social responsibility of helping us keep healthy.
Contribute to feeding people and saving lives at https://fundraisers.giveindia.org/projects/377

One that really touched me was the appeal to buy honey from the bee-keepers who have thousands of jars of honey and no funds to continue their livelihood.  You could pay now online and they will deliver the honey when the lock down is lifted.
Check out http://givenow.leapclub.in/  - I know the people personally.

Ultimate Bad-vertising

And, if all else fails, you can tune into certain News channels or their Twitter avatars and be entertained by the mud-slinging, anti-harmony and just plain uninformed views of people with vested interests who are supposed to tell us nothing but the truth.  

[I would love to hear your experiences of what advertisements you see on your social media and how to react to them.  Please leave a line in comments. Thanks. ]